Militsioner characters make up a tense, reactive ecosystem in developer TALLBOYS' surreal immersive sim. Trapped in a secluded coastal town under the watchful gaze of a gargantuan police officer, your survival depends entirely on how you navigate the personalities, routines, and shifting emotional states of the local population.
Because every character operates on an independent schedule and features a Tamagotchi-style mood system, learning who these figures are and how they respond to your behavior is crucial to engineering your escape.
The Colossal Policeman (The Militsioner)
The Militsioner is the central figure and primary antagonist of the game. Looming hundreds of feet above the town from the surrounding water, his sole responsibility is ensuring that the accused player remains confined within city borders pending trial.
Rather than functioning as a standard static hazard, the giant officer possesses a complex emotional system that dictates town-wide events:
- Sadness and Depression: If neglected or deprived of attention, the officer falls into sorrow. Prolonged sadness triggers torrential flooding across low-lying districts, cutting off streets and drowning players caught in the rising water. Providing snacks like apples, croissants, or soda helps stave off his melancholy.
- Anger and Annoyance: Committing crimes within his line of sight—such as trespassing, breaking locks with bricks, or carrying stolen items—fills his annoyance meter. If unaddressed through fines, he becomes enraged, actively pursuing you with his colossal hands and tearing apart makeshift shelters.
- Relaxation and Joy: Fulfilling his requests, offering sincere compliments, or presenting gifts like flowers and music can bring relief. When he is happy, town water levels recede, unveiling submerged storm drains and secret chambers.
- Fatigue and Days Off: The giant works a grueling shift and values sleep. Every four days, he takes an official day off, during which he is significantly more lenient, prone to smiling, and less alert to suspicious activity. Offering him champagne can induce daytime sleep, creating windows of opportunity to trespass or pickpocket items from his person.
Early playtests and Steam progress reports confirm that the giant keeps aColossal case log on his suspects. While he cannot be permanently defeated, players can manipulate his emotions through dialogue, bribery, alibis, or strategic deceit to slip out of his grasp.
The Nameless Protagonist
The player assumes the role of an ordinary citizen abruptly arrested on an unspecified morning. The game's opening makes it clear that you have lived a completely unremarkable life up to this point, yet local television broadcasts identify you as a dangerous criminal.
Dialogue sequences across consecutive playthroughs suggest that you may not be a single recurring individual. When you fail an escape attempt, drown in a flood, or get thrown into custody, the Militsioner notes that your replacement is "different than the last one, but all too same." Each cycle puts you in the shoes of a new parolee or suspect inheriting the ongoing struggle to break free. Despite your seemingly mundane background, the protagonist possesses agile parkour capabilities, the physical strength to smash structures using loose masonry, and an innate knack for lockpicking.
Key Supporting Town Characters
While the giant watches from the sky, several distinct non-player characters inhabit the streets, shops, and subterranean hideaways below.
The Friend (The Sewer Lawyer)
Encountered immediately after your initial arrest, "The Friend" first appears as an arm reaching through a barred partition. He introduces himself as a lawyer and feigns sympathy for your plight, offering a train ticket that turns out to be a crudely drawn fake before locking you in a storage chamber.
Despite this early betrayal, The Friend becomes an indispensable underground ally once you unlock access to the sewer network:
- Sanctuary and Laundering: When the giant policeman flies into an aggressive rage, The Friend opens surface manholes, giving you an underground refuge where the giant’s hands cannot reach. Inside, he maintains facilities that wash stolen contraband to make it legally tradable.
- Shady Dealings: Operating an illicit black-market exchange, he offers criminal advice, suggests acts of sabotage (such as smashing the railway ticket booth), and sells counterfeit alibi certificates to clear your name when authorities grow suspicious.
The Ticket Office Cashier
Stationed inside the railway depot, the cashier is a high-strung, hostile woman responsible for issuing the daily 1:00 PM (13:00) electric passenger train tickets. She treats the player with utter contempt, constantly suspecting them of violent intent and threatening to dial the giant policeman at the slightest provocation.
Her primary vulnerability lies in her secret, intense infatuation with the Militsioner. She regularly calls him on the telephone—calls the officer actively avoids due to her clinginess. Players can exploit her romantic fixation by delivering gifts like bold perfume or floral bouquets while claiming they are romantic tokens sent directly from the officer. Softening her demeanor allows you to purchase a legitimate boarding pass without triggering an immediate alarm.
The Captain (Pawn Shop Owner)
The Captain is an elderly merchant who operates the local pawn shop. Easily identified by his frequent coughing fits and heavy smoking habits, he buys almost any material good you haul into his storefront.
The Captain’s storefront features several key interactions:
- Contraband and Junk Trading: He accepts everyday scrap like empty bottles, vehicle tires, and loose bricks, as well as high-value household appliances like stolen television sets and chairs.
- Inventory Rotation: His store stock changes every 12 hours, vending critical survival items including mineral water, cigarettes, and specialty perfumes.
- Subtle Lore Drops: Giving him alcoholic beverages such as champagne elevates his mood, prompting him to share cryptic insights regarding the colossal officer's continuous physical growth and the apocalyptic nature of the recurring floods.
The Smoker
The Smoker is a nocturnal tenant who resides in the central apartment building. He spends daytime hours snoring loudly in his quarters and only becomes active at 18:00. Severely anxious and craving nicotine, he refuses to interact normally if startled.
Supplying him with a carton of cigarettes from the local vending machines earns his trust, rewarding you with the Smoker’s House Key. This key grants access to multiple locked flats containing valuables, alibis, and alternate rooftop routes. Later development updates introduce him as the nervous driver of the mountain funicular, constantly terrified of operating the transit car beneath the giant’s gaze.
Secondary Characters and Inhabitants
| Character | Location | Role in Town | Key Player Interactions |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Militsioner | Surrounding Bay / Skyline | Chief Lawman & Primary Overseer | Interrogations, mood management, mood-triggered floods, fine collection |
| The Friend | Sewers & Holding Cell | Shady Lawyer / Underground Broker | Contraband laundering, alibi sales, emergency refuge |
| Ticket Cashier | Train Station Depot | Rail Booking Agent | Ticket purchases, romantic manipulation, crime reporting |
| The Captain | Town Pawn Shop | Merchant & Fence | Selling stolen furniture/junk, buying rations, lore dialogue |
| The Smoker | Central Apartments / Funicular | Reclusive Tenant & Transit Operator | Trading cigarettes for keys, alibis, funicular transport |
| Apartment Residents | Residential Windows & Flats | Town Bystanders & Informants | Spying from windows, reporting break-ins, strict inventory counting |
| The Stray Cat | Courtyards & Rooftops | Stray Animal | Picked up, sold to pawn shop, gifted to giant as a pet |
The wider township is populated by reclusive citizens visible behind locked windows and apartment doors. These residents live in perpetual fear of both the accused player and the giant officer. If you attempt to trespass through open balconies or steal household items, residents will immediately call the police. Some track their possessions meticulously, warning that a single missing apple will result in a formal report.
Finally, a blocky stray cat roams the alleys and balconies. Players can physically carry the cat through the streets to sell it to The Captain for over 200 rubles, or present it directly to the giant officer when he expresses a desire for companionship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you romance the giant policeman in Militsioner?
Yes. The developers designed the emotional mechanic partly as a surreal dating simulator where failure results in imprisonment. By learning his aesthetic tastes, using flattery during dialogue checks, and gifting items like flowers, players can court the giant to lower his guard or secure daytime passes.
What happens if you get caught or die?
Dying by drowning in a flood or getting arrested restarts the escape attempt as a new cycle. The Militsioner remembers previous interactions, referencing past suspects while adjusting his demeanor. Players earn upgrade points between runs to unlock permanent perks, such as making the officer calm down faster or granting second chances during minor infractions.
How do you get an alibi when accused of a crime?
Alibis can be secured in a few distinct ways. If you have earned the favor of local residents like The Smoker, they can vouch for your whereabouts. Alternatively, you can purchase an illicit alibi certificate directly from The Friend inside the sewer network.
